I turned to Terry last night and said to her, "I need to make my mark on the world, but I don't know how."

Watched Vanilla Sky last night. It wasn't as surreal as the first time, but still decent. I still can't get over how sad it makes me that he wakes up 150 years in the future and Sofia is dead, and that he never saw her again after the nightclub. It's so profoundly sad, somehow.

I wonder sometimes how much of our lives are truly real, and how much is all a fabrication?

Maybe not in the movie sense of living in a dream, but in the sense that we're living life putting importance on things that really aren't important. How is it that so very many people can be so deeply unhappy, yet never do anything about it, simply put up with it? I'm guilty of the same, it's so easy to simply get absorbed in the idea that things are the way they are, and getting in line is the best way to deal with it. Stepping out of line seems impossible, or at the very least very, very hard.

House stuff has progressed. Michael closed on it on July 3, so we now own a house. What a bizarre feeling, we've passed into that next level of adulthood.

Eek!

Still nothing on the job front, though I guess I didn't really expect a lot. People around here are notoriously bad about talking about anything. I'm still waiting, but I did light a little bit of a fire under the organization by letting them know that as of July 1 my official address is in Maine. I only hope that after we move everything this weekend that I can actually go up there, too.

I spent all weekend bopping around and living out of my suitcase out of peoples' cars, I think this week I may want to spend a few days just existing in the evening rather than going somewhere. Terry has class on Tuesday and Thursday, which is nice as I'll have the entire evening to myself. I really need to do laundry, too. Tonight Terry mentioned going to the movies, but I don't know if today I'm up to it. I was thinking about escaping to Starbucks, that huge one that opened that always has the comfy chairs free and lots of tables.

I have so much to do, but so much of it seems so inconsequential any more.